5 Signs Your Ex Can't Stop Thinking About You, Dating Coach Says

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If you're not over your ex, you may be wondering if they feel the same way. However, the unspoken rules of breakups can make it difficult to broach the subject directly, instead leaving you to look for clues that could signal a lingering interest. That's where dating coach Jacob Lucas comes in. He says there are five definite signs that your ex can't stop thinking about you. Here's what to look out for.

RELATED: 8 Red Flags That Spell Cheating, Therapists Warn.

1 They check on you.

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In a TikTok video, Lucas says the first sign that your ex is still interested in you is that they periodically slide into your DMs, just to say hello.

"They will randomly message you just checking up on how you've been. If they have truly gotten over you then why would they care? The only reason they're asking you this is to start a conversation with you to see if that conversation leads to anything else," he says.

2 They always wish you a happy birthday.

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If they consistently remember your birthday and mark the occasion with a text, phone call, or post, this is another sign that your ex is thinking of you.

"If every single year without fail they are messaging you 'happy birthday,' they want you to know that they are thinking about you on your special day," says Lucas.

3 They "like" your posts.

Woman on her phone looking at social media.
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To find out if your ex misses you, take a quick inventory of some of your most recent social media activity, Lucas suggests. If they still "like" your posts, chances are they're still thinking of you often.

"The reason why they do this is they want you to see their name pop up so that they stay in your mind and they hope that you start a conversation with them," he claims.

RELATED: 10 Things You Should Never Say During a Breakup.

4 They share things that remind them of you.

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When your ex is in their feelings about missing you, they may "randomly message you saying they've seen something that reminds them of you," says Lucas.

The point of a message like that is not, in fact, to show you what they saw. Instead, it's a thinly veiled effort to re-engage your attention, he suggests.

"If that person is over you, do they really need to tell you that? The answer is no. They're doing it because they can't stop thinking of you," the dating coach says.

5 They can't stop looking at you.

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Last but not least, Lucas says you'll know your ex can't stop thinking about you if you see them out in public, and "they can't stop looking at you." This corroborates research, which shows that prolonged eye contact can signal and even stimulate attraction.

So, if you miss your ex and notice that they're doing any of these five things, the feeling might just be mutual. That conversation about rekindling things may not be off the table after all.

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Lauren Gray Lauren Gray is a New York-based writer, editor, and consultant.Read moreFiled Under • Sources referenced in this article
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