If you think Twitter is an interesting place in 2019, then you won't believe what the platform looked like in 2009. Back then, people were still getting the hang of things, and tweets ranged from hilariously bizarre to utterly incomprehensible. Even some of your favorite stars like Justin Bieber, Kim Kardashian, and Ariana Grande were struggling to use the social media platform. Curious to see what these A-listers were tweeting in '09? Below, we've rounded up some of the wildest old tweets from celebrities.
1 Justin Bieber contemplated the name of a state.
Why is rhode island nor a road or an island
— Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) December 4, 2009
Grammar aside, this isn't a terrible question.
2 Miranda Cosgrove let the Twitterverse know about her delicious pizza.
Heading to the studio! I just had the best Margherita Pizza ever!
— Miranda Cosgrove (@MirandaCosgrove) December 30, 2009
This probably could've been two separate tweets?
3 Kim Kardashian educated the masses.
SMH means shaking my head
— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) August 17, 2009
TY Kim!
4 Guy Fieri gave his fans a shoutout.
Hey
— Guy Fieri (@GuyFieri) April 23, 2009
Hey, Guy!
5 Larry King shared his love for Daylight Saving Time.
More importantly… don't forget to put your clocks back an hour tonight. I am a clockhead and OBSESSED with time!
— Larry King (@kingsthings) October 31, 2009
Thanks for the reminder, Larry.
6 Ben Stiller hated on bobbing for apples.
No real way to look cool bobbing for apples at all. Even when you win, you lose.
— Ben Stiller (@RedHourBen) October 31, 2009
Don't plan on bobbing for apples with Ben Stiller, I guess.
7 Ariana Grande told her fans about her Halloween costume idea.
Has decided to be a vampire version of Pebbles Flinstone for Halloween. Thoughts?
— Ariana Grande (@ArianaGrande) October 30, 2009
Note how Ari tweeted in the third person. That is so 2009.
8 Ariana also tweeted about perfecting her Sponge Bob impersonations.
is practicing screaming "MY LEG" like the guy on spongebob with @LizGIllies.
— Ariana Grande (@ArianaGrande) October 30, 2009
If the writers of Sponge Bob ever need a guest actor, they know who to call.
9 Khloe Kardashian gave organ donors a shoutout.
I'm in Fullerton with my momma for the Donate Life run/walk! Wooohoooo to all my organ donors! Are you one?
— Khloé (@khloekardashian) April 25, 2009
We support organ donors as much as the next person but… this is a strange way to give them props, Khlo.
10 Katy Perry shared her thoughts on The Time Traveler's Wife.
just finished watching "The Time Travelers Wife," I didn't ball like I thought I would… maybe it was 2 mushy, maybe I'm soul-less!
— KATY PERRY (@katyperry) August 22, 2009
You didn't "ball," but did you bawl, Katy?
11 Diddy wished his main man a happy birthday.
Happy Birthday JESUS!!!!!! Rt pls!!! G0D is the GREATEST!!!! Let's gooooooo!!!!!!!
— Diddy (@Diddy) December 25, 2009
You were so excited, you couldn't even wait till midnight, Diddy.
12 Martha Stewart told a harrowing tale about her dogs.
just got home, let out the dogs, within minutes they cornered,attacked and killed an opossum. had to wash little bloody mouths .life on farm
— Martha Stewart (@MarthaStewart) November 12, 2009
Ah, yes, "life on farm." How relatable.
13 Snoop Dogg bragged.
im givn away gifts to the kids…. feel like santa right now
— Snoop Dogg (@SnoopDogg) December 17, 2009
Snoop: the hero we don't deserve.
14 Oprah sought medical advice.
Anybody got a surefire remedy for ticks? Just pulled 8 off of 1 dog. None of the prescribed vet meds seem to be working.
— Oprah Winfrey (@Oprah) May 27, 2009
We hope you figured out your tick issue, Oprah!
15 Shaq aired his grievances online about a chimpanzee.
went to the la zoo today, a chimpanzee spit at me, dam i must be ugly, lol
— SHAQ (@SHAQ) August 27, 2009
Not everything warrants a tweet—but in 2009, even celebrities were still learning.
16 Ashton Kusher got passionate about yoga.
YOGA time!~
— ashton kutcher (@aplusk) August 26, 2009
Yay for YOGA time!
17 Frankie Muniz complained about… not working?
I can't imagine having a "real" job. I already don't have enough time in the day to get stuff done.. nevermind if I had to work for 12 hrs
— Frankie Muniz (@frankiemuniz) August 20, 2009
Uh, is he saying that being an actor is a "fake" job?
18 Pink had a questionable business idea.
My point is, with all the power out in a dark bus, they should make toilet paper with braille on it.
— P!nk (@Pink) December 7, 2009
And what would happen once the toilet paper was used, Pink?
19 Snooki complained about her iPod running out of battery.
the worst feelin is rockin out 2 @deadmau5 n ur ipod dies…..
— Nicole Polizzi (@snooki) December 27, 2009
Remember when those were a thing?
20 Billy Ray Cyrus confused Twitter with Google
What time is Bait Shop on P S T ???
— Billy Ray Cyrus (@billyraycyrus) June 20, 2009
Check your local listings, Billy.
21 Danny DeVito let everyone know it was almost Christmas.
Santa Clause Is Coming tonight
— Danny DeVito (@DannyDeVito) December 24, 2009
Just in case you forgot that it was Christmas Eve, Danny DeVito made sure to remind you.
22 Jessica Simpson tweeted about her indigestion.
I have indigestion! I'm praying that my last 'thank you' on my list will be for a calm stomach! God I love Texan family cooking though! Burp
— Jessica Simpson (@JessicaSimpson) November 27, 2009
"Burp."
23 Kris Jenner used Twitter to send weirdly personal messages to her kids—and Lara Spencer?
Kourtney come home from NYC PLEASE!!!!!!!!!! Need you home I miss you madly xo…Lara Spencer you need to come home too..enough is enough!!
— Kris Jenner (@KrisJenner) July 20, 2009
In the end, Lara Spencer just couldn't keep up with the Kardashians.
24 Spencer Pratt begged for a JT/Brit reunion.
who wants Justin and britney to get back together?! ME!!!!
— PrattDaddy.com (@spencerpratt) October 5, 2009
What a classic couple they were. (Who could forget their iconic matching denim look?!)
25 Jessie J was a good samaritan—and had regrets.
I just helped a woman down the stairs with her pram but I think I sprained my wrist, her toddler was unexpectedly really heavy 🙁
— Jessie J (@JessieJ) December 15, 2009
No good deed goes unpunished—am I right, Jessie?
26 Adam Levine channeled his inner Tarzan.
I feel like climbing a tree.
— Adam Levine (@adamlevine) September 12, 2009
We are… so thankful celebrities no longer tweet every single thing that comes to mind.
27 Steve Harvey begged Tyra Banks to follow him.
@tyrabanks hey its the REAL Steve Harvey I need followers!
— Steve Harvey (@IAmSteveHarvey) December 18, 2009
But Tyra, it's the real Steve Harvey!
28 Andy Cohen contemplated Maria Shriver's hair.
does maria shriver wear a weave? pieces? just curious because now I might be obsessed. et tu, maria?
— Andy Cohen (@Andy) October 19, 2009
We would seriously love to know what prompted this tweet from Andy Cohen back in '09.
29 Al Roker tweeted about his priorities.
Family and being alive
— Al Roker (@alroker) October 27, 2009
This tweet is, uh, missing some context.
30 Tyra talked about national birds.
did ya'll know that new zealand's famous kiwi is the bird and not the fruit? they are so soft!!
— Tyra Banks (@tyrabanks) December 18, 2009
The more you know!
31 Barbara Walters looked on the bright side.
One day a pigeon flies in my home Now my fire alarm won't stop ringing Woe is me Otherwise all is well
— Barbara Walters (@BarbaraJWalters) July 29, 2009
Way to stay positive, Barbara.
32 Kim Kardashian claimed she could smell cavities.
i have a really odd talent. i can smell when someone has cavaties! i have never been wrong yet! they dont even have 2 be super close by me
— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) August 13, 2009
Weird flex but OK!
33 Rita Ora asked her fans for technology help.
im trying to setup my email on my blackberry does i cant do it! does anyone know how??
— Rita Ora 🧡 (@RitaOra) September 20, 2009
Seriously, have none of these celebrities heard of Google?
34 Mary J. Blige used questionable punctuation.
I hope you all are having a great! Day!
— Mary J. Blige (@maryjblige) September 14, 2009
What is with all the exclamation! Points! In this tweet!
35 Lauren Conrad ignored her typos.
just saw Rebecca Minkoffs new colloection. looked amazing!!
— Lauren Conrad (@LaurenConrad) September 14, 2009
It's been 10 years since this tweet and we are still waiting for Twitter to give us an edit function. What gives, Jack?!
36 Russell Brand made things weird.
I'm getting in the bath now to think about you all. x
— Russell Brand (@rustyrockets) August 21, 2009
Just, no.
37 Heidi Montag shared some thoughts with LC.
@LaurenConrad i love rainbows!!!
— Heidi Montag (@heidimontag) July 26, 2009
Ah, things were so much simpler in '09.
38 Kelly Osbourne wondered aloud if she was seriously sick.
what are the symptoms of swine flu?
— Kelly! (@KellyOsbourne) July 22, 2009
Please consult a medical professional—and not Twitter—if you think that you might have swine flu.
39 Selena Gomez tweeted some song suggestions.
The Only Exception -Paramore
— Selena Gomez (@selenagomez) October 4, 2009
This song recommendation has stood the test of time. Just saying.
40 Shaq got mad at the White House.
The white house wouldn't let me in, whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
— SHAQ (@SHAQ) July 27, 2009
Never change, Shaq.
Filed UnderCelebrities • Entertainment • FunnyRead This Next20 Craziest Celeb Twitter Meltdowns
It's amazing what you can accomplish in 140 characters.May 30, 201830 Most Hilarious Celebrity Instagram Photos
These hilarious celebs aren't above cracking a joke at their own expense.March 13, 201840 Funniest Celebrity Tweets of 2018
Celebrities say, or rather tweet, the darndest things.December 6, 2018The Hottest A-List Celebrity the Year You Were Born
Here's who dominated headlines when you entered the world.January 4, 201930 Celebrity Red Carpet Photos You Won't Believe Are 20 Years Old
These celebrity photos from the 1990s show how far we've come.March 26, 2019'90s Celeb Couples You Totally Forgot About
And why these famous pairs eventually called it quits.November 17, 202130 Celebrity Red Carpet Photos You Won't Believe Are 30 Years Old
Hollywood events included many more jean jackets three decades ago.April 8, 201931 Celebrity Couples from the '80s You've Totally Forgotten About
Who wasn't Rob Lowe with?February 11, 201910 Things You Didn't Know about Justin Trudeau
Athlete, nerd, hopeless romantic, thespian. Yes, there’s a lot more to Canada’s Prime Minister than just politics.March 21, 2017Jon Hamm: The Best Life Interview
Jon Hamm, star of TV's Mad Men, reveals the secrets of manliness in a postmodern world.November 15, 2016
